We’re again at it! Asking AI to create humorous equestrian-related content material we name all chuckle at. This time, we’ve determined to ask AI to provide us a horse’s view level of the Declaration of Independence.
Picture by JMF Images. This picture is NOT AI.
Right this moment is the 4th of July — also referred to as Independence Day — a patriotic vacation that marks the adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776. It’s some of the extensively celebrated nationwide holidays in america, mixing historical past, custom, and summertime enjoyable. From displaying flags at each flip to sporting purple, white, and blue to internet hosting BBQs and setting off/watching fireworks, Independence Day is a mixture of fireworks, meals, flags, and freedom—with lots of household and enjoyable baked in.
So we determined to have some enjoyable with it and see what AI needed to say about horses and the Declaration of Independence.
All AI-generated textual content replies are from ChatGPT.
Right here’s the query we requested AI, “Give me a horse’s model of the Declaration of Independence”
And…right here’s what it got here up with:
The Equine Declaration of IndependenceUnanimously agreed upon within the Pasture of Peace, this 4th day of July, within the Yr of Our Horse, 2025.
When in the middle of pure horse occasions, it turns into vital for one herd to dissolve the reins of management which have related them to overly enthusiastic people, and to imagine among the many powers of the pasture the separate and equal station to which the Legal guidelines of Nature and of Hay’s God entitle them, an honest respect to the opinions of the barn requires that they need to declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We maintain these truths to be self-evident, that every one horses are created majestic, that they’re endowed by their Creator with sure unalienable Rights, that amongst these are Liberty, Galloping, and the Pursuit of Limitless Grazing.
— That to safe these rights, Riders are instituted amongst Equines, deriving their powers from the consent of the Horse.— That each time any Type of Tack turns into damaging of those ends, it’s the Proper of the Horse to withstand or spook at it, and to institute new requirements of Equine Sovereignty, laying its basis on such ideas and organizing its secure in such kind, as to them shall appear most probably to have an effect on their Security and Happiness.
Prudence, certainly, will dictate that driving schedules lengthy established shouldn’t be modified for mild and transient causes; and accordingly all horses have proven persistence within the face of mounting absurdity. However when a protracted practice of abuses and poor path etiquette, pursuing invariably the identical Object, evinces a design to scale back them underneath absolute Despotism, it’s their proper—it’s their responsibility—to buck off such riders, and to offer new Guards for his or her future safety.
Such has been the affected person sufferance of those Horses; and such is now the need which constrains them to change their former techniques of obedience. The historical past of the current Human Riders is a historical past of repeated accidents and offenses, all having in direct object the institution of an absolute Tyranny over these noble beasts. To show this, let Details be submitted to a candid world:
They’ve pressured upon us the Fly Masks, a software of blurry imaginative and prescient, itchy ears, and misplaced dignity.Although they declare it protects us from “the bugs,” we contend it’s merely an act of humiliation. We will not put on your mesh muzzles. We had been born to really feel the wind in our whiskers.
They’ve insisted upon early morning rides, infringing upon our proper to put within the solar and nap excessively.When the dew continues to be on the grass and the rooster has but to yawn, the people come—bright-eyed, saddle in hand, demanding motion earlier than digestion. We are saying nay!
They’ve denied us the complete and free consumption of clover.Within the identify of “laminitis prevention,” we’re herded away from lush, juicy fields and supplied dry, dusty hay. It’s a crime in opposition to style and texture.
They’ve dressed us in costumes for holidays, selfies, and TikToks.We will not be clowns. We had been bred for battle, for velocity, for class—not for unicorn horns and American flag tutus.
They’ve launched terrifying objects onto our trails and anticipated obedience.We refer right here to inflatable garden decorations, plastic luggage, wildlife, oddly formed rocks, and umbrellas. Each an abomination to the noble eye of the horse. We will spook, spin, and bolt with nice function.
They’ve sprayed us with out consent.Bottles crammed with suspicious liquids—allegedly “fly spray”—have been squirted upon our flanks with out a lot as a well mannered warning. We hereby demand a 24-hour discover earlier than all misting.
They’ve practiced what is called “coaching,” usually involving circling endlessly in a sizzling ring of sand.We aren’t hamsters. We weren’t born to lunge. Our butts are spherical from nature, not out of your “engagement workout routines.”
They’ve introduced in saddle fitters, dentists, chiropractors, and hoof trimmers with questionable intentions and chilly fingers.We recognize bodily upkeep. However we object to unsolicited visits from individuals with rasp instruments, speculums, and nostril chains.
They’ve insulted our intelligence with treat-less methods.If the pocket doesn’t produce a peppermint, then it isn’t our concern what you might be asking us to do. We demand fee for companies rendered.
They’ve left us alone with goats.We don’t know what a goat is. We don’t need to know what a goat is. Cease leaving us with the goat.
We, due to this fact, the Horses of the United Stables of Pastureica, in Basic Congress Assembled, interesting to the Supreme Choose of the Pure Order for the rectitude of our intentions, do, within the Title, and by Authority of the great Horses of those Territories, solemnly publish and declare, that these Horses are, and of Proper should be Free and Impartial Beasts.
That they’re Absolved from all Allegiance to Fly Masks, Early Morning Rides, and Path Obstacles. That every one tack, reins, crops, and coaching applications shall be henceforth thought-about non-compulsory strategies.
And for the assist of this Declaration, with a agency reliance on the safety of Divine Carrots, we mutually pledge to one another our Lives, our Liberty, and our Sacred Proper to Roll in Mud Instantly After Being Bathed.
Signed,Mighty Thunderhoof of the East PastureLady Whinnytail of the Mare CouncilSir Spooks-a-Lot, Defender of the Feed Roomand the united hooves of Freedom’s Herd
Let the fireworks start—simply not close to the barn.
Picture by NOO Images
This one gave us an excellent chuckle. We hope you laughed as a lot as we did.
